I dont know what made me write this poem and I have no clue how I could write it let alone post it on my blog here - but this is one way I let my emotions come out and for someone who meant the most to me - My Dad.
Paa - There are so many things I still had to share with you , so many moments I had to spend with you.I wish I had more memories of us together Paa .. I wish I'd never had come to Sydney after your treatment, tat way I'd have more time to spend with you....
I miss the long phone conversations with you - there s a gap - a space in my life and I dont have the courage to over come it...
I cried again today
Uncontrollable tears fell from eyes,
It seems like all I do is cry
And its getting harder for me to hide.
I lie in bed and cry all night,
And I don’t feel any better in the morning light.
Paa … I miss you !!
I held your hand as you took your last agonizing breath
You fought with your heart and soul,
My world came crashing down like pack of cards
I dint want to be consoled.
I never thought I’d see you die
How could you walk away breaking all ties ?
Who will teach me right from wrong,
With you gone?
Whom will I turn for answers,
When life does not make sense?
Who will be there to hold me close,
And always be there for my defense?
I cant call you on the phone,
I cant knock on your door.
No matter how loud I scream,
You wont be there for me like before.
It was so hard for you to let me go at the airport
To let your “beta” venture into a world unknown
Without you holding my hand or to catch me if I fall
To walk the path that you have shown.
Paa .. I need you !!
So many images come into my mind,
Whenever I speak of your name.
I cant seem to come to terms with the fact
That our lives wont be the same.
The times we shared,the laughs we had,
Things I miss when I think of you Dad.
Realizing that's all I have to hold on too,
Only memories, Of what once was you.
Missing your laugh, I will never again hear.
That is the reality that fills me with so much fear.
No more smile on your face,
No more warmth of your embrace.
The last hug, The last kiss,
The last "goodbye" leaves me with one last wish...
To have you Dad, here today,
Never to leave your Daughter this way.
Oh, Paa, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my choice.
Please always know I love you
and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.
Today, God, as You are listening
in your home above;
Would you go and find my dad
and give him all my love.
I love you Paa ....!!