Learn to say 'NO'

After a long gap, I am back again with yet another post. too many things have happened in the last one month of which I wouldnt want to mention here.

But I am glad, I am back to blogging world.

I am not really sure as to why I picked up this topic to voice out my opinion about it, but somehow deep down I felt I should be writing something about it.

So.. What’s the big deal about saying NO? It’s after all a two letter word.. How hard can it be to say NO to someone? Well.. the fact is the smaller the word is, the more difficult it is to say it.

Be it your relatives, friends or peers at office – they might ask you to do something that you might not want to do. Yet saying NO might be harder than simply saying, “I’ll be glad to do it.. “ So what is that makes it so difficult for us to say this two-lettered word? The answer’s pretty simple, because we want people to admire us and like us and accept us and also that we would not like to hurt the feelings of the opposite person.

I say so because, in today’s world many of us grow up to be people pleasers and want the acceptability in a group. And in some cases, we might not just end up doing things we don’t like but we might try to say the right things, wear certain clothes and even pretend to know things to impress others. The word ‘No’ seems to have vanished from our vocabulary and we look for various agreeable ways to make people happy. Sometimes saying ‘NO’ to a person in authority is just not accepted for example your boss at office or an elderly at home.

All this reverts back to the fact that – in all this efforts of pleasing people, where is your self-esteem? Your respect for oneself as well as respect for the other person in the interaction?
If a ‘yes’ can land you into major problems to the detriment of loosing your loved ones’ trust, it’s better to shake hands with ‘no’ and lead a relaxed life.

Infact I feel saying ‘No’ in itself is an art - It is a very difficult task to say ‘no’ when ‘everybody is doing’ a particular thing. But once you have decided that you want to say ‘no’ to peer pressure, you need practice to develop the skill of taking a stand without being branded as stubborn, egoist or aggressive.

This is not about being a person with an 'attitude' who always causes conflict – but its about you behaving ASSERTIVELY when you express your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in direct, honest ways that do not violate another person's integrity.

Someone who is strong, knows what their limitations are, will evaluate what is asked of them and know if they should say YES or NO. For the others the best way would be to be a lil assertive – if you really despise doing what has been asked of you then be polite but direct.

I read this somewhere and agree with it:” What many people don’t realize is that a powerful way of saying no acceptably is to show that you understand the other person’s needs or preferences. This shows that you are thinking not just about yourself, but also about them.”

Make it a project to say, "No," to something every day. Timely no’s will not only gain you respect, but also stand you apart from the crowd and will make ur life less stressful and much simpler.